Te Quiero?
by WaterlooRoadFanFiction
Summary: An alternate for my Cesca and Jonah fanfiction Te Amo?
1. Chapter 1

Te Quiero?

Chapter 1

A knock on the door made Cesca's heart leap. She rushed to answer it, knowing who would be on the other side. This had been a regular thing for the past few weeks now, it was strange but both of them seemed to like the idea. Cesca smiled as she opened the door to Jonah,

"Morning miss" Jonah said cheerily.

"Morning Jonah, come in." Cesca replied.

Jonah would come to her house every day at 6:30 for extra Spanish tuition, as well as lunchtimes and after school. She wasn't a morning person but was prepared to make an exception. They sat over coffee revising Spanish texts and dialogue. Obviously no one knew how much time they had been spending together, Cesca wasn't even sure it was legal. She liked Jonah, Jonah liked her. Sometimes she found her eyes meeting his, their eyes would lock for a few seconds, switching between each others eyes and lips.

It was fair to say there was something there, he was mature, handsome and he knew how to treat a woman. They revised the Spanish text in front of them but Jonah's thoughts wandered elsewhere as his lips said something different to the text he was reading...

"Me gustas mucho" he said. Cesca's eyes locked with his again, her heart raced faster, her mouth ran dry.

"I think... i think i might like you too" Cesca said quickly. They rose from their seats, running towards each other almost. Their lips locking with each other, Cesca hesitated for a moment but as Jonah placed his hands around her waist, any hesitation, any guilt was forgotten about. "Please, Jonah, stay with me today?" Cesca asked shakily.

This wasn't a question for Jonah; they stumbled backwards into the living room,

"Wait, Jonah, two minutes, let me ring the school, tell them i wont be in today."

Seconds later she had her arms wrapped around Jonah's neck again as they collapsed on the sofa. She sat on top of him, kissing him rapidly, their clothes no longer belonging to them, just piles on the floor. Minutes later Cesca's heart was filled with regret, what had she done, she hadn't just slept with her pupil? She pulled away from Jonah's kiss, grabbed her clothes and made a dash for her bedroom. She sat on the bed, shaking, crying. What had she done? Jonah appeared in her bedroom doorway. "Cesca?" Jonah asked. Cesca looked up at him

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?" Jonah asked the obvious question.

"I think we have made a mistake, this shouldn't have happened, but I wanted it, is that wrong?"

"No, it's not wrong Cesca, it's perfectly fine to want something, I wanted it too. I really like you Cesca, the circumstances aren't ideal but we can work something out, if that's what you really want" was Jonah's reply.

Cesca's head was all over the place. "I think that's what I want Jonah." Cesca said innocently. She allowed herself to fall back into his embrace.

Cesca didn't know what she was letting herself in for. Didn't know how hard in was to say no. Didn't know the trouble she was in if anyone found out. Didn't really know if 'te amo" really was the case.


	2. Chapter 2

Te Quiero?

Chapter 2

_This is part 2 of the example chapters of Te Amo? Part one is well under way and here is my continuation of part 2. I really hope that you enjoy it._

Questions loomed before the two of them, the answers still unknown. Cesca had obtained these, abnormal feelings for weeks though she had pushed them away, let them inhabit in the back of her brain, never though had she thought of allowing herself to get involved with him in an unprofessional manner. Though now she thought about it, she had allowed herself to fall into the trap by agreeing to the one-to-one lessons, before and after school in her own home. Without knowing she had allowed him into her personal life, allowed these feelings to form and consequently allowed them to go too far.

It was a difference in opinion between her head and her heart, her heart believed that this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship; her head thought otherwise, she was playing a dangerous game embarking on a passionate relationship with Jonah. It would be sure to overshadow her position of authority in his life and would be regarded as illegal. Cesca knew she has a lot to lose, her job, her friends, her opportunities, it all came down to the decision that she had to face. Would she dismiss a relationship with Jonah in return for her life or would him being hers complete her, make her happy, compensate for everything she would have to be prepared to lose.

Cesca knew that making this sort of decision on the spot would be rash and she didn't know whether she would end up regretting her decision in the long run so she remained entangled in his embrace, not saying a word until it was time for him to go. She remained laid up on the bed, unable to make a movement as she watched him dress carefully, mesmerized by him. He finished and sat beside her on the bed, moving the covers down a little, gazing into her eyes, he smiled at her, sweeping the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He held the nape of her neck, moving towards her slightly, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

"_I'll see you soon yes?"_ Jonah asked his tone subtle and soothing. Part of her wanted to beg him to stay with her, hold her, kiss her, love her butshe understood that it was essential that he went, kept up an element of normality, allowing her time to think. Slowly she nodded and let go of his hand,

"_Yes, Jonah, I will see you soon." _She replied with a reassuring smile. He left and she relaxed into her mattress, rethinking everything that had happened that morning. Her phone beeped and her eyes dragged towards her phone, picking it up knowing already who it was from. She read it carefully,

"_I hope that you want the same as me Cesca but I only want you to b__e happy. I can't stop thinking about you and I really hope that I see you soon…" _she analysed the message, Jonah had an overwhelming amount of respect for her and he would do absolutely anything for her to be happy. It made her decision that much harder. Without thinking she replied,

"_I know its Friday and I know you are probably wanting to go out but if you haven't got plans maybe you could come around tonight?" _she quickly typed, not wanting to allow herself time to think in case she regretted the words spilling on to the screen of her phone, she wanted to believe every single one of them.

She wrapped herself in her sheets, isolating herself from anything that wasn't her phone. Her eyes stared at the phone screen as she questioned whether she had done the right thing. She didn't have a chance to regret it though as her phone lit up again,

"_What time would you like me to come round?" _ The message read.

She smiled as she read the text over and over again, she was overcome by an emotion almost alien to their situation, excitement and she couldn't wait to see him again but didn't want to come across too excited so replied saying

"_Umm 5?"_ Cesca replied in an instant. And seconds later she had a reply.

"_See you then!" _ it said simply.

"_I'll look forward to it!"_ she replied.

Jonah hoped that the day would fly by so that he could go back to her again. A sense of utter content inhabited within his heart, still raw but there all the same. Every door of his heart involved a different energy yet each overcome with her. She had well and truly captured his heart and he couldn't shake the feeling he felt towards her, no matter how hard he tried. It was like she had a power over him and at the snap of her fingers she could unlock another door in his heart, good or bad and another feeling would arise. Some of them had remained undiscovered until this day.

Despite how they possibly felt they had to make a decision quickly before they lost control and their feelings were unavoidable and at the speed everything was happening they didn't have much time. A sickly feeling followed Cesca's breaths up and down. She didn't know what to make of how he made her feel but it certainly wasn't normal but then again, what is normal?


	3. Chapter 3

Te Quiero?

Chapter 3

Tick, tock, tick tock, the clocked rolled forwards yet it was almost definite that the hours were repeating themselves over and over again. Cesca sat alone in a cold, dark room in silence, her thoughts screaming too loudly for it to be possible to concentrate on anything else. Her feisty front, her wall had been shattered long ago and her feelings had taken over… The rush, the adrenaline she felt when in his presence, the love the warmth seemed to be making her decisions for her.

Elsewhere Jonah's pen tapped on the edge of his desk. Only twenty minutes into his final lesson Jonah had completed all of his work. It was Spanish, yet instead of the beautiful teacher stood at the front of the class, in her place stood Chris Mead, staring at him in annoyance but looking away as he realized he was being watched back. It wasn't long until he could be with her again, for better or for worse… Finally the bell rang and it was time to go home, Jonah walked beyond the gates, ignoring everybody around him, embarking on the one mile walk home, to get ready.

Cesca watched the clock as the time approached, quickly now, making her feel ever so slightly uncomfortable. She still wasn't sure whether she was doing the right thing but they needed tonight, needed to talk, about everything. Jonah sat on his bed, watching the clock carefully, for ten minutes he had been sat there, ready to leave but it was only 3:50, way too early and he didn't want to seem too eager. He tormented his brain to think about something else but it didn't work, so he left, blissfully aware he was going to be very early.

4:10 his clock read as he wandered into her road, the dark winter night tingled against his skin as snow drops slowly fell, settling on the ground. It was the first time it had snowed in Rochdale for years. Looking up at her house he noticed that the curtains were drawn, yet light bursted out of the corners of them. He looked up at her bedroom noticing her shadow against the window; it was more than enough to make his heart leap over and over again.

He plucked up the courage and knocked gently on the glass of the front door, the frozen touch of the glass shocking him almost. Moments later he was watching her graceful frame gently walk downstairs and towards the door, hesitating before opening it. She felt the rush of cold as it hit her skin causing goose bumps to overcome her body. Jonah watched her in amazement before making an effort to talk, she stood before him with a towel wrapped around her tiny frame, though she wore it as it was an outfit. She looked a little uncomfortable and was herself speechless.

"I, I, I am really sorry… that I am so early, I, eh, couldn't wait." Jonah stuttered.

Cesca nodded with a slight smile and let him pass into the hallway. She led him into the front room, a fire burned brightly and the warmth of it circled the room, it looked very wintery, very… romantic.

"I'll just be two minutes, um, help yourself to anything…"

Jonah nodded and watched as Cesca wandered back upstairs. He gazed around the room and smiled, finally he was here, with her, she was close to him, and it was everything he had needed all day. He waited as Cesca got dressed, slightly apprehensive, slightly excited, wondering how she was feeling. He didn't have time to wonder as she walked into the room, he was sure he would soon find out how she was feeling.

She looked beautiful, wearing a navy blue dress that hugged her in all of the right places. She smiled and sat down beside him, close enough, but a reasonable distance away.

"Thanks for coming…" she said with a smile, trying to come across as in control when really she had lost all self control when she saw him standing at her door… It took all of her strength to remain where she was, feeling the need to be closer but knowing that she shouldn't. He nodded and the awkward silence returned. He gulped and opened his mouth to speak not quite finding the words, making Cesca laugh. Finally composing himself though, he did find the words.

"I know we need to talk but I also know what I want." He said, asserting his authority for once, they weren't talking about school, they were talking about them. Cesca bowed her head and nodded. She had hoped he would be like that but still remained undecided.

In the warm comforts of her living room the room fell silent only the cackle of the fire making an occasional appearance. In the warm comforts of her living rooms spirits of their emotions flew around, inhabiting themselves in their hearts. In the warm comforts of her living room Cesca still remained undecided.H


	4. Chapter 4

Te Quiero?

Chapter 4

"I want you Cesca." He said simply.

Cesca gulped. It was all so difficult. She knew what she wanted too, but it wasn't as simple as that, it was never as simple as that. It was immoral for them to happen, unimaginable, unthinkable and most importantly illegal. But they couldn't just turn back now, not after everything that had happened. She couldn't go back, she had feelings, feelings that she was unsure of but feelings that she didn't know if she could fight, but she had to try.

"We, we can't…" Cesca said, trying out her best Miss Montoya voice, though it came across as rather desperate, lonely… sad.

Jonah nodded though, he had to understand, had to sympathise. She had so much more to lose than him, yet she had already almost made her feelings crystal clear.

"I understand…" Jonah stated.

Cesca raised her eyebrow "You do?" she asked him.

Jonah nodded again "I do, I understand the risks, I understand the consequences, I also understand how you feel, because I feel exactly the same. But I understand that if you can't do it, if you are not ready then I will go, but I will always be here, if you need me… It's in your hands Cesca."

This made Cesca's decision ten times harder, he was what she so desperately needed and exactly what she couldn't have, either way it was a catch twenty two.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked him, as if ignoring everything he had just said.

He nodded and watched as she made her way to the kitchen, wanting to follow and eventually deciding too… He stood in the doorway, her back was too him as she fished around in the fridge. Taking out a bottle of wine and a can of beer, she downed a glass before turning around, now facing him. The shocked expression on her face was enough to make Jonah laugh.

"Hello." Cesca said, smiling at her own reaction.

"Want me to go?" Jonah asked her straight to which she shook her head and handed him a beer.

"I don't think so…" she said walking past him and into the living room, sitting where Jonah had sat only minutes ago. He walked into the living room and sat beside her. She lifted her legs and rested them across Jonah's legs.

"What are we doing Jonah?" Cesca asked.

"It's up to you…" Jonah admitted.

Cesca hesitated "Will you stay, for a bit?" she asked.

Jonah nodded and took a gulp of his beer not daring to make a movement, even though he was bursting for the toilet.

"Jonah? What's wrong?" Cesca asked, picking up on Jonah's facial expression.

"Um, I, um, I need the toilet…" Jonah said honestly.

Cesca laughed and watched as Jonah tried to stand up, repeatedly pushing him back down again. Cesca was in hysterics and jumped onto Jonah's lap, making it impossible for him to get to the toilet.

"Cesca. I. Need. The. Toilet." He said slowly, attempting to push her off and failing miserably, it was then that they had a moment of clarity; Cesca struggled for breath and found her face only millimetres away from Jonah's. Their lips joined together and Jonah tried to relax, the sensation, the need to pee didn't calm, instead it got stronger. Jonah's lips mingled with Cesca's until he bursted out of the chair, running for the stairs.

Cesca laughed to herself knowing exactly what she had just done. Maybe for tonight she could not care, that's what she wanted. She bit her lip and turned out the lights, heading upstairs and into her bedroom, knowing Jonah would find her there eventually. She didn't have to wait too long as Jonah stood in the doorway watching her carefully.

"I'll get going then…" he said still watching her.

Cesca shook her head "I don't want you to go." She explained. "Please stay with me." She asked him.

He hesitated not quite sure what to say "I don't want you to regret anything…" he told her.

"I wont, I want you to stay." She replied.

Jonah wasn't sure, he didn't want to push her too far, didn't want her to regret everything.

"Cesca, I don't think this is such a good idea… I know that you will think differently tomorrow." He told her honestly.

"Will I see you soon then?" she asked him, knowing not to put up a fight.

"Course…" he said awkwardly.

She watched as he turned away, wishing that he had agreed to stay but knowing he was right to say no, she jumped out of bed, running down the stairs, meeting him at the door and taking hold of his arm,

"Goodnight Jonah" she said simply, kissing him delicately.

"Night." He said, opening the door and stepping out into the cold night air, he knew then that he had done the right thing.


	5. Chapter 5

Te Quiero?

Chapter 5

They both endured a restless sleep, wondering whether they had dealt with their situation in the right way. Cesca knew how easy it was for her state of mind to be changed when in his presence, her self control deserted her. He had a higher amount of control than she did, his was more desire, knowing how she felt, really was all that he could hope for but in one day they had gone too far, he knew they had, and deep down so did she. She couldn't shake the thought of him though, wished that he was there with her, holding her, helping her to sleep. The stress of the situation was draining Cesca physically, mentally and emotionally. She wished that it could be easier, that the complex rules at Waterloo Road would let them be together, that though, wasn't going to happen.

…

Saturday morning quickly turned into Sunday afternoon, neither had heard from the other. The abnormality of their unfortunate situation hadn't yet reached its climax, what was next was still to come. Both were home alone, wallowing in self pity, unable to concentrate on the work they were both helplessly trying to complete. Eventually they gave up, retiring to their own worlds, absent mindedley thinking of the other.

"_Snap out of it"_ Cesca scolded herself. He shouldn't have this overpowering hold on her, she had never felt it before yet she had never been this intense before. Never gotten herself in this deep. She knew it would be difficult to go back, especially after their new found familiarity, it would be almost impossible for them to remain professional with each other, already being assaulted with images of intimate moments.

Jonah was disheartened but driven by the fact he knew he had done the right thing. He wasn't sure how he was going to cope, seeing her tomorrow, being trapped in a room with her for two hours though. It may, just may push him over the edge. Cesca felt the same, it wouldn't be easy, it would be anything but easy but if she knew Jonah as well as she thought she did they would leave their situation out of the classroom.

The situation got the better of Cesca and she reached for her phone, finding his name in her contact list. Hesitantly she pressed the call button listening to the beeps as it connected the two of them. One mile away Jonah saw his phone light up, reading the name on the screen his heart sank, he couldn't do it, couldn't talk to her, not know, he knew that it would change his mind about tomorrow, and that couldn't happen.

Cesca sighed as she reached his answer phone. "_Jonah? I think we need to talk, ring me back please" _she said before hanging up, knowing that really he had no intention of ringing back. She pushed herself deeper into the sofa, wrapping her arms around her body. This was a mistake. He was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened, it was one huge mistake.

But that was the thing, he didn't feel like a mistake, they didn't, it felt… right, more right than anything ever had, almost perfect, it was the complexities of waterloo road that was stopping it from becoming perfect. Her phone rang at that moment and quickly she answered it,

"Hey." She said slowly.

"Hey, Ces, its Adana…" Cesca's heart sank slowly.

"Hey… Adana." Cesca said, trying to sound the least bit enthusiastic.

"Yes, Ces, there was a reason, that I rang you. Do you fancy coming away with me, a girls holiday, it's a long shot, we would leave tomorrow…" Adana babbled.

Cesca's heart was once again saddened. She wanted everything but that. But getting out of it would be a real test of her imagination.

"I can't Adana… I erm, I… am behind with everything and really can't afford to take anymore time off… Sorry…" she lied.

"Oh, ok then…" Adana said, deeply depressed that she would be holidaying alone.

"Have a good time…" Cesca said, just as her battery died.

"_Great."_ She thought to herself.

…

Jonah sat in a world of his own, staring at the screen of his phone. For the past hour and a half he had been going through his texts, the ones from her. He read them as they developed, quickly changing from professional to flirtatious and way more than teacher-pupil. He smiled as he read the texts that he had sent her and not quite remembering, anticipated her replies. How long could he expect this feeling to overcome him, if anything he knew he couldn't wait for it to go away.


	6. Chapter 6

Te Quiero?

Chapter 6

Monday morning arrived, perhaps to quickly. Cesca was sat in the staff room rather uncomfortably trying to pay attention to the mornings brief. Her distance didn't go unnoticed by Karen.

"Is everything ok Cesca?" Karen asked politely.

"Yeah…" she said quickly, nodding.

Karen nodded reluctantly and left the staffroom, leaving Cesca to her thoughts. She was feeling apprehensive about her lessons with him, she had a feeling that he would be ignoring her; she didn't really know what to think anymore. She gulped the remains of her early morning coffee and headed to her classroom, just in time for the bell. She sat herself at her desk and welcomed the small year 8 class. They were a nice class, polite and rather knew to Spanish, they listened respectively, taking in what the beautiful young woman taught them. The hour was sure to go quickly.

Jonah was dreading his fourth and fifth period with her, luckily though they were separated by the hour lunch break, it would be just enough time for him to gather his thoughts, reassure himself that he was doing the right thing.

Year 8's turned to Year 10's and then Year 7's. English turned to science then to geography. 5 minutes until they would be together again, well, in one sense but not another, not the way she wanted but hesitated being with him. Minutes felt like hours, and they seemed to feel like forever. In a way, she couldn't wait to see him, stare into his eyes and wish that she could lie in his muscular arms, feel the warmth and the love that she could draw from them.

Cesca was woken from her day dream by the bell, the bell that in recent weeks had terrified her, its sharp ring reminding her that she would have to see him, today though that bell was welcomed.

"Off you go to your next class." She told the year 7's quickly. Needing just one minute to herself, hoping he would arrive first. Her wish was granted, he did arrive first, but with the class idiots, she watched as they pranced around like immature fools, making a show of themselves, behaving how she'd expect four year olds to behave. To her surprise though Jonah was behaving the same, just like them, immature, idiotic, not what she expected from him, at all.

He looked into her eyes, he saw surprise, dread, hurt but most importantly love. She resembled a cartoon character who's eyes turned to bulging love hearts every time she saw the one she was madly in love with. He wanted nothing more to return her gaze but knew he couldn't. Instead he looked blankly into her eyes, making himself impossible to read. He watched as her eyes turned to hurt and despair then she looked away, not being able to handle it.

"Sit down." She snapped at them before setting their tasks.

Her head collapsed into her hands and she drew deep breathes in and out, in and out. They caught in her throat more often than not, he noticed, of course he noticed but he chose to ignore it. She needed so desperately to cry. To let out all of her emotions but she couldn't, not here. She remained calm, as calm as she could, not uttering a word, not finding the strength too.

He watched her very carefully, the pen and paper untouched. He watched as her eyes glistened with tears rather than love, with hurt rather than happiness and with upset rather than the pure joy she had felt with him before. She wished now that she hadn't had done it, met him, took it too far. Worried now that their closeness would eventually get exposed, that she would love everything, all for a not yet matured school boy with a crush he had quickly gotten over.

She made no attempt to look at him for the rest of the lesson, it was time for lunch, time for them to talk before Spanish part two.

"Jonah" she called to him, her voice icy and cold.

He said nothing.

"Jonah." She said, almost spitting her words now.

He said nothing and left. That was it. No going back. She couldn't risk anything else.


	7. Chapter 7

Te Quiero?

Chapter 7

Cesca left room '202' and headed for the double doors. It was home time. Everyone had already left leaving just a few students lurking the corridors. The school had quite an eerie feeling about it when it was empty, everything seemed to echo, chase her almost. Cesca's arms held all of her bags and opening a door always seemed to be mission impossible, she heard footsteps coming from the other side of the door and reluctantly gave in, hoping that somebody on the other side would help her though as soon as she saw who it was she wished she had, had the capability to open it herself.

It was Jonah, he was still ignoring her and she had given up trying. She half expected him to walk on but he surprised her again and held the door open for her. She half smiled and walked through the open door, finding it harder seeing him now, now that they weren't speaking. She decided not to speak and on an impulse dropped her bags and stood in front of him. He didn't say anything, he didn't make a movement, Cesca saw all she needed in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around him, her head falling onto his chest. Instinctively his arms wrapped around her and she looked into the mud pools that were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. She apprehensively took hold of his hand and picked up her bags, leading the way to her car.

"I don't know about this Cesca…" Jonah said honestly.

"You don't have to know, just come with me, we can talk?" she replied.

Reluctantly he nodded and got into the passenger seat. Cesca got into the car and started the engine, shooting Jonah a short but sweet smile before rolling out of the waterloo road gates. They both sat in silence, neither attempting to make a conversation, neither taking a single glance at one another though their minds were not without one another, not even for one second. After a short time, Cesca pulled up outside her house, thinking about the time he was last here she understood where she had gone wrong; she shouldn't have asked him to stay, ever. It was the worst thing she could have done and now she had a chance to put it right.

She slowly got out of the car, removing her bags from the back seat and heading for the door. Jonah still sat in the car, going over everything in his head so she left him, leaving the front door open so he could come in, when he felt ready. She made them both a cup of coffee and sat in the lounge, making a start to her marking when she heard her front door close, she waited a few seconds and when no one made an appearance she knew he had entertained the idea of walking away. Quickly she shot up out of her seat and opened her front door, it was obvious that he wasn't going home; he was walking in the opposite direction. Without thinking she grabbed her keys and jumped into her car, feeling the urge to be with him more than ever, she knew it was hard on him.

She drove after him, remaining a reasonable distance away, not wanting him to run from her. She saw him wiping the tears from his cheeks, quite an alarming sight to see a usually strong young man crying because of her, it was her fault. She had been driving for more than an hour now and decided to speed up, pulling up along side him. He saw her, of course he saw her, he didn't run and he didn't stop he simply carried of walking. She got out of the car and walked after him, taking hold of his strong muscular arm and pulling herself in front of him. Her lips quickly brushed against his before she wiped his tears with her thumb. He shook his head and removed her hand from his face.

"Please stop doing this to me…" he whispered.

She shook her head "I don't want to hurt you, I just want to talk, please talk to me…" she pleaded.

He wanted to get this over with, wanted to end everything. His feelings were strong but he struggled with the fact that he never knew what she wanted. One minute she wanted him the next she would be pushing him away. He knew of the complexities their familiarity faced, he knew the consequences their familiarity brought. But their familiarity always, always seemed momentary, never ever lasting, always very much in the moment, short bursts of pleasure then a whole lot of heart ache on his part, the joke always on him.

His hand gently stroked hers, not quite having the strength to let her go.

"Please?" she asked again.

This time though he was totally sure of his answer "I can't…" he spoke quietly.

"Jonah, I am not going to come on to you, not again, I just need to talk, tell you how I am feeling, you can do the same can't you?" she questioned.

The sincere clarity of her words automatically caused Jonah to change his mind; he nodded and walked towards her car, sitting back in the passenger seat.

Maybe now they could talk, work some solution out to their situation. Would their decisions be the same? That is the question.


	8. Chapter 8

Te Quiero?

Chapter 8

Cesca made a coffee. One for her, one for Jonah, she sat it in front of him but he didn't drink, it was almost as if it was poison, infested with something not good, wrong. Much like their relationship, Jonah was in an impossible situation. It was strange, it wasn't actually the fact that she was an authority figure in his life that was causing all of the problems, it was the fact that she freely played with his emotions, encouraging their relationship one minute and dismissed it, pushed it away the next. Jonah knew that the decision he had chosen to make was final. Meanwhile, Cesca took a seat at the table, Jonah automatically opting to sit as far away as possible, not wanting to send any mixed messages to her, not wanting to fill her with false hope, much like she had been doing to him for weeks. In truth, they were complete opposites but Jonah seemed to drag the hard, feisty exterior away from Cesca. Leaving her with her true self, her true self realistically being almost the same as Jonah. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks, she didn't utter a word, neither did he. She simply looked into his eyes, he didn't look back, he didn't dare. He'd been lost in them eyes one too many times before. She continued crying, it was horrible, crying and not really knowing why. Of course she knew why. That's why she didn't make a sound. It was _him_ it was _always _him… Jonah replayed previous moments in his head, intimate moments and otherwise. They had been on quite a journey before anything had even started. A journey full of promise, heartache and ending, the end was beginning now and it was sure to become a long chapter, before long tears rolled down his cheeks too, in unison they poured out their hearts, never saying a word but letting the tears flow until there was no more to be shed. It took a while.

At long last, Cesca decided to speak. She wasn't quite sure how to put what she was feeling into words but felt that she almost owed it to him. "Jonah… "she spoke quietly. He didn't speak, didn't make a movement. She doubted whether he was even listening but decided to carry on all the same. "Jonah, I have feelings for you, feelings that I can't control, I'm trying, I promise that I've tried but I don't even want to try anymore. I want to be with you, more than anything. I'd do anything to make this easy, for everyone but it's not easy, I know it's not. I'm just asking you, please give me a chance, it will be hard but if you want it enough we can work something out. If you want it…" She proposed an idea to him. The ball was in his court now; it was his turn to speak. "That's the thing Cesca; I can't tell you that it is what I want. I like you way more than I can put into words but that's the problem. You keep messing me around, treating me like I have no feelings and that this situation is all about you, it isn't Cesca, it's about me too and right now I'm in pieces. I know that I can't have you and I will eventually accept that and so will you. I'm sorry Cesca…" his words mirrored what he was feeling exactly, relief washed over his conscience and he resumed to his position before. Cesca was broken; she was being rejected by someone she thought she loved. Slowly she moved towards him, her hand reaching out to touch his arm, the one that had held her so protectively before. This time though he didn't offer her his arm, instead he pulled it away, refused to let her get to him. "Jonah… no, please don't do this" Cesca cried. "It's done Cesca, its over" he clarified. She sobbed, her heart tore out of her chest and she ran for the stairs, as fast as her legs would carry her. She soon found herself in the bathroom, her fingers fiddled with the bolt on the door until she was sure it was securely shut. She turned around and saw her reflection in the mirror; it didn't look like her, not one bit. Sobs, genuine sobs escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheek, every tear staining her heart as well as her cheeks, her hair was limp and so was the rest of her tiny frame. She was weak, really weak.

She pushed herself against the door, her petite body sliding downwards until she lost view of the mirror. Her small sobs turned into loud, painful cries, her heart restarting with every deep breath she attempted to take. Her wrists pressed against her forehead. She was in pain, physically, mentally and emotionally. She felt sick, sicker than she ever had before. Her broken screams could be heard for miles it seemed. Each new scream holding more love, pain and heartache than before, she was distraught. Jonah heard them but decided to leave her, she wouldn't feel that way forever he was sure and the sooner he let it go away the sooner they could move on and get on with their lives. He sat alone downstairs silent tears running down his cheeks whilst the one he had once wanted to be with cried out for him upstairs. Oh lord; he was doing the right thing wasn't he? Oh no. What if he was making the biggest mistake he could make, even when he though he was doing the right thing. He listened as her sobs became more prominent and ten times as frequent. She was breaking and so was he. He slowly rose from his seat and made for the stairs, following the sobs to the bathroom. He heard them much louder and much clearer. Cautiously he placed his hand on the door and slowly, quietly sank to the ground, his back resting against the door.

He longed now to hold her but refused to let himself get hurt. Cesca reached boiling point and her sobs became quieter and not as clear. Their bodies both pressed against the door, both beginning to feel the presence of one another through the thin wood. Quietly Jonah whispered "I want to be with you, I'm just scared, scared that you will just keep playing me, I'm a person, not a game Cesca" he tried to explain. She heard every word; they shouted at her and repeated over and over. Maybe they had a chance but Cesca know that she had lot to prove to Jonah and she wasn't about to waste any more time.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Cesca rose from her position on the floor and drew back the lock on the bathroom door. She twisted the handle and opened the door slowly. Jonah rose in time with her, ready to greet her as she stepped towards him. She staggered towards him, mascara rushing down her face still and entered into his warm embrace. His arms formed around her waist and locked protectively. She sobbed into his chest and clutched his shirt. He sat back on the floor, her sobs escaping as a cry for help, a cry to feel wanted every now and again. He rubbed her back and stroked her hair every once in a while in an attempt to calm her and eventually his efforts paid off and she fell sound asleep in his arms.

He sat and admired her for a while, listening to her shallow breathing. Her hand and head rested on his chest, her body rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. Gently he lifted her up and carried her to her bed, laying her down and covering her in sheets, watching her nuzzle into them. He laid a perfect, gentle kiss on her head and let out a short smile before walking towards the door. 'Don't go.' Cesca said shortly. 'Stay with me tonight?' she asked him sincerely. He turned around to face her 'My dad will be wondering where I am, I should go…' he answered honestly. Cesca nodded, understanding the complexity of what she had asked him. 'Come here?' she asked. He walked towards her and sat on the bed. She reached for him and placed her hand on his shoulder, kissing him. He allowed her before saying 'Cesca, I still can't stay…' she sighed 'I know, I know' she kissed him again and let it linger for a moment. 'but I'll see you tomorrow at school?' he nodded and stood up. 'night ces!' she smiled 'night Jonah'.

He left her to sleep and locked up, walking through the cool night air, heading for home. He thought about everything. He wondered if this was the beginning to something beautiful.

…

The following day soon arrived; Jonah sat in the common room, completing some coursework. Everyone else was in classes, classes he wasn't up to going to today, so, as requested Mrs Fisher had given him a pass which meant that he could continue his studies out of class for the day. He studied hard, he cared about his grades, he cared to maintain the expectations his father had for him, to do well, to follow in his footsteps. There was no doubt he was going to do well.

Today he was to miss double Spanish, English, history, maths and biology. He calmly worked his way through his biology module and completed the exam questions he had been set. The bell rang and everyone headed for first lesson, Spanish. Jonah remained though, keeping his head in his books and taking a sip of water every now and again. He was surprised to find that he found it easier to work alone, like he had done when being home schooled. There were less distractions and he found the ability to concentrate that much easier. Minutes into first period Cesca appeared in the doorway. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at Jonah. 'Hey, what's up?' Jonah asked, standing up. 'Why are you in here, why aren't you in lesson, Jonah, are you avoiding me, do you not want me?' she cried. 'Hey, hey.' Jonah said as he walked towards her. 'Calm down, I'm not avoiding you; I'm just getting some work out of the way.' He said, wiping her tears. 'But I need you Jonah, I need you okay. I need you so much.' She cried, in hysterics. Jonah pulled her closer and held her in his arms, cradling her. She seemed to calm down quickly, quicker than she had done last night. 'Look Ces, we both know where we are at now right, my feelings haven't changed I promise you, I'll come back to class with you if that's what you want?' he asked. She nuzzled into him and nodded. 'That's what I want Jonah. I want you with me.' He smiled and kissed her head, in seconds though, her hair was replaced with her lips and they brushed gently. He wiped her mascara from her eyes. 'Right come on beautiful, I believe you have a class to teach?' he smiled. She smiled too, getting butterflies and her heart racing as he called her 'beautiful'. Together they made their way back to room '202'.

Cesca's smile had reformed on her face as they entered the classroom, Jonah took to his usual seat and Cesca walked to the front, sitting down and watching Jonah, her head in her hands. He smiled and recovered his books from his bag, meeting her gaze every time he looked up from his books. Every time he looked at her, her heart leapt and she found it difficult to contain whatever was inside of her.

He quietly completed the work that he had been getting on with before seeing too a hysterical Cesca and the time passed just as quickly. Jonah rose from his seat with the rest of the class and packed his things, everyone left. 'Jonah' Cesca called out to him. He came to her, sitting on the edge of the front desk. 'When am I going to see you?' Cesca asked. 'what do you mean, you are seeing me now?' he questioned. 'Well. I don't mean like this, I mean when can I see you? My Jonah.?' She said with a smile. He laughed a little 'who said anything about me being yours?' 'I did' she said. He smiled and said 'Friday, I will come on Friday.' Cesca complained though, 'but Jonah, that is 3 whole days away, I want to see you sooner.' He sighed 'Cesca, Friday.' She nodded and he left.

…

Cesca missed Jonah, in a funny, weird kind of way. I mean. It wasn't like they had confirmed that they were a couple. But she missed being in his arms. Worried that the love she had towards him would never be returned in the same fashion. They were silly worries, but ones that pressed firmly against her thoughts all the same. Friday was here, she was finally going to see him. It was 3:17 precisely. The school day had just drawn to a close and Cesca was already in the car and on her way home. They hadn't confirmed a time but Cesca thought it best to press on, expect the earliest arrival then she could prepare herself.

She wondered if he'd spend the night with her, yet something that told her that he wouldn't. He seemed to be quite reserved about the whole situation. He obviously felt some affection towards her but they were clouded in a misty view for the moment. Hopefully she would discover tonight how he felt about their…tricky situation. She arrived home and changed into something that was in her opinion, less formal and prettier. She moved downstairs at the same time as Jonah rang the doorbell. She answered and allowed him in, they kissed gently and her hands gripped onto his muscular arms. They wrapped around her and lifted her gently, carrying her to the living room where they sat together for some time, simply kissing gently.

Cesca loved the feel of his lips on hers, it felt perfect. Their lips glided over each others promisingly. Cesca pulled back 'shall we order some food?' 'err. Yeah sure, I don't know how long I have though Cesca.' 'where else do you need to be?' 'I don't know, home maybe?' 'do you even want to be here Jonah? Because if you don't just say.' 'I do. I really do.' Cesca nodded and returned to kissing him, reaching for the phone and dialling the number of the Chinese that she had managed to memorize over the past months. She interrupted their kissing session and recited the order, hanging up and smiling, cuddling into him. 'I don't want you to go, cant you say you are staying with ronan' she asked. 'Lets see Cesca' Jonah said, cuddling her.

He had mixed emotions about the situation they had landed themselves in. He loved that she had finally been able to be honest about what she felt towards him but he wondered where they could go from here, I mean, it wasn't like they could be a couple, no matter how much they wanted it. It would be too…complex. They were bound to get caught, right?

His arms were still around her, her head on his chest as she watched coronation street. He couldn't hide the smile on his face, she looked so cute. There was some vulnerability about her when they were alone. The hard front she put on usually faded until it disappeared to nothing and she was bare, wide open. It seemed like, now, it was his job to make her feel. The way the things he did at school hadn't affected her in the slightest, everything he now said and did, like a kaleidoscope had a different effect.

'I want you to be my boyfriend Jonah.' Cesca stated. Jonah brushed his hand through her hair 'I know you do…' he continued 'but you know its difficult.' She sat up and looked deep into his eyes 'if we both want it enough….' He sighed 'cesca, I don't know, I mean, how long is it going to be before your feelings change again?' Cesca was particularly stunned 'jonah, the way I feel will never change. I have felt like this for a while. Im sorry that I found it hard to tell you, im sorry that I hurt you but im sure now, im sure that I know what I want.' Jonah smiled a little 'can we see how it goes then?' he asked. She simply nodded and rose from the chair, going to attend to the knock at the door.

As soon as Jonah heard that it was their food, he too went to the door, pulled out his wallet and paid before Cesca had the chance too. He recovered the food from the guys hands and shut the door, giving Cesca a gentle kiss. 'I was going to pay Jonah' she said. 'Yeah, well I already did so are you going to come and eat?' he smiled and she followed him into the kitchen.

He pulled the contents of the bag out and dished up their food. He sat down opposite her and placed their food in front of the both of them. She just gazed at him. It was unbelievable how mature he was. She was entirely sure that she could trust him completely. He made her feel happy, she just had to convince him that this was the right thing, for the both of them. She ate slowly, watching every movement he made. The smile on her face didn't disappear once until his phone rang. 'sorry' he said before answering. 'hello?' it was his dad 'son, where are you, we were supposed to be going camping this weekend' it dawned on Jonah 'oh no dad, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot about it, I am a bit tied up at the moment…' he admitted. 'with what? Who are you with Jonah?' 'no one dad, no one.' Cesca listened intently. 'are you with a girl Jonah?' Jonah coughed 'what dad? Don't be stupid' his dad laughed 'who is she Jonah?' Jonah sighed 'it, it doesn't matter' Marcus was adamant 'yes it does, if my son has a girlfriend then id like to know about it' Jonah laughed and stood up, moving into the hall, Cesca still in earshot 'I like her dad, but its early days and I don't want to rush things okay? Go ahead to camping without me, ill see you on Sunday!' 'she can come with us you know Jonah.' Jonah's heart sank now 'no she cant dad, I don't think you two would be able to, you know…' Marcus understood 'okay son, well, I will see you on Sunday. Don't do anything I wouldn't!' he joked. 'Oh dad please!' Jonah laughed 'I'll speak to you later dad' 'bye son.' Jonah hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen 'sorry about that' he said before sitting down. 'you don't have to miss camping for me Jonah' she said with a false smile. 'no, i don't have too, but I want too..' he smiled. She smiled too and finished eating. 'so does that mean you can stay with me?' Jonah teased 'lets see.' She stood up began to wash the dishes, he came up close behind her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. 'go sit down, leave that to me' he told her. 'no its fine I can-' he cut her off 'I said, go and sit down, leave that to me.' She turned in his arms, smiling at him 'you are good for me Jonah Kirby' she said, leaving the room. Jonah got on with the dishes whilst Cesca curled up on the sofa. She thought about her and Jonah. She didn't want to rush things but she didn't know if she could cope with the boundaries they would put in place when her feelings were already so strong.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Cesca's head rested on the arm of the chair. She could hear Jonah moving around in the kitchen and she couldn't prevent the smile that spread across her face. She heard as his footsteps move closer to her and she smiled even more. 'Right I am off Cesca' he said with a smile. Her head jolted straight up as she began to moan 'Jonah, don't go, I want you to stay with me. I _need _you to stay with me' he laughed. 'I was joking.' She sighed and shook her head, giggling 'you are mean and definitely not funny Kirby.' She relaxed on the chair, her feet flat on the soft cushions and her knees comfortably bent. He joined her, sitting on the other half of the chair, watching her. She giggled and parted her legs, pulling him through the gap. His body rested lightly on top of hers as they kissed gently. There was no denying the feelings that they had developed for one another.

Their lips mingled like they had been this familiar millions of times before. His hands rested on her waist whilst hers held his face and neck in an attempt to get closer and more passionate. They kissed for some time before her hands moved and began to remove his top. He let her and carried on kissing. She gasped as she looked at his incredibly ripped abs and giggled, becoming engrossed in kissing Jonah again, her hands on his chest. Her hands moved down and began to unfasten his belt, kissing him passionately. She pulled at his belt and he laughed 'what do you think you are doing?' she continued to undo Jonah's bottom half 'trying to get into my boyfriends pants. Problem?' she asked, giggling. He raised his eyebrow 'Boyfriend?' 'yes, problem?' he laughed 'we shall have to talk about that one' she stopped 'no, we wont' he laughed 'yeah, we will' she sighed and carried on removing his trousers. 'Cesca Montoya' she said. She stopped 'Jonah Kirby' he smiled 'I really do have to go' she frowned 'jonah. Stop messing me around' she laughed 'cesca. I have to get things to wear, like PJ's and boxers… 'You could just sleep naked?' Cesca asked, smiling. 'Uh. You wish.' He said, re-dressing himself.

Something told him that he was ready to commit to Cesca completely. Maybe it was for the fact that in a strange kind of unconfirmed way he had his fathers approval and that meant an awful lot to him. Cesca watched as Jonah redressed. 'You will actually come back won't you?' she asked. 'Yes, I will. Go have a bath, relax and I'll be back soon.' Cesca smiled 'Okay!' she kissed him gently and strutted off for a bath. Jonah left and got into his new car.

…

Jonah returned to Cesca quickly. Letting himself in and moving upstairs, alerting Cesca that he was back without disturbing her. He dropped his bag beside her bed and went downstairs, pouring them both of them a glass of wine.

Cesca got out of the bath and went through to her bedroom, she got ready for bed, noticing Jonah's bag neatly placed beside her bed, she couldn't resist having a cheeky look. She opened his bag and noticed his boxers laying on top, she removed them and paid close attention to the writing on the rim. She laughed as she read 'Good Clean Tackle' across his boxers and stood up, walking downstairs, boxers in hand. She walked into the living room 'I'm pleased to know you have no STD's' she giggled, showing him his own boxers. He laughed and tried to grab them. He failed. 'Hmmm, I have no idea where you have been' she joked, biting her lip. He grabbed the boxers, using them to pull her onto his lap 'Well you will soon find out' he laughed.

She sat comfortably on his lap, towering over him a little, moving her face down to his, kissing him. He moved his hands onto her bum and fell back slightly, kissing her deeply. She pulled back, almost taking his lips with her and took a drink of her wine. He did the same. She laid herself on him and cuddled into him, watching TV. He kissed her head and drank his glass of wine. 'Ill go and get ready for bed.' He said. She nodded and allowed him to leave.

…

He went upstairs and removed his t-shirt and trousers, Cesca stood in the doorway quietly, watching sneakily. He changed into his 'good, clean tackle' boxers and turned around, beginning to slip on a white t-shirt. He noticed Cesca and laughed 'paedophile' he said, laughing. She didn't laugh though, in fact, her heart sank and she stood, frozen. 'Ces?' he asked. She didn't speak. Instead a tear drifted down her cheek, she gulped 'I'm…you are right. I am a paedophile…I am.' She said, becoming extremely unattached. 'Oh god…' Jonah panicked 'I was joking' Cesca stood still. Jonah went over to her, attempted to hold her but she moved back 'no. I cant.' She said. 'ces' 'no Jonah, you were right' 'no. I wasn't' he moved close and cuddled her 'Cesca. You are my girl now' she couldn't help but smile. She cuddled into him and whispered 'take me to bed?' she asked. He nodded and lifted her up, carrying her to the bed they were going to share. They cuddled up together and kissed for a while.

In that moment, maybe they were both about to enter into something neither of them were sure about.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Cesca was content in Jonah's embrace. She had a permanent smile on her face as she gazed into Jonah's eyes, him returning the gesture. 'You really are beautiful Cesca' she told her, moving her hair gently out of her eyes. She blushed 'You are very handsome, you could have anyone you wanted.' She replied. 'And so could you' he reminded her. 'Perfect match' she confirmed, intertwining her fingers with his. He smiled and kissed her head. Cesca shifted position so she could look directly into his eyes; she slowly leant in and stole a kiss from the lips she loved so much. She held his face and kissed him with a strong force, the suction on both of their lips pulling them further into a deeper kiss which the both of them enjoyed. Her lips clung to his and his arm harmlessly draped around her waist and his hand rested on her lower back. The contact of his firm and gentle hands made her shudder as the electricity tore through every part of her body. It happened every time they touched and delighted her thoroughly.

At long last they broke from the kiss and Jonah pressed his forehead against hers, their breaths dancing on one another's faces. They were both still breathless following their last kiss but temptation was too much as Jonah took another, shorter kiss from her mouth. His hand rested on her cheek and she nuzzled into its palm, kissing it gently, holding it to her face. She was besotted with him, she wouldn't call it _love, _she couldn't really define love and what it meant. But she was genuinely falling. She moved underneath him slightly, gazing into his eyes. His body manoeuvred to suit hers and rested lightly on top, his eyes staring into her beautiful brown orbs. He smiled and whispered 'I'd like you to be my girlfriend too' her face lit up 'you make me the happiest person in the world Jonah Kirby' he smiled.

She gently lifted his top over his head and let it drop out of her hand and onto the floor. She rubbed her hand over his abs as he tensed, purely for her pleasure. She giggled and refocused her attention back on his eyes. On an unspoken agreement he began to unbutton her top. She watched as he did so, a smile on her face. He pulled the top away from her shoulders and left her top half bare beneath him. HeHHHe admired the work of art that was her body, his gaze switched between the new parts of her body that he had just discovered. He looked down and into her eyes and in that instant the eyes really were a portal to the soul he smiled his cheeky smile and she giggled lightly. His head moved towards her neck. He kissed his way gently from her neck, her collarbone, her shoulder, her arms, her ribs, her toned stomach and he finally finished at her hips. He was awarded with the sighs that escaped her lips unintentionally.

'Kiss me' she complained. He did just that. Almost in sync their hands moved downwards and they began to remove each other's last item of clothing before they were bare, naked flesh against naked flesh. Finally both were unhinged, exposed for each other's eyes. Both were impressed with what they saw. Jonah's hands moved downwards, he smiled at her, knowing exactly what she was pining for. He positioned himself effortlessly and looked at her 'you are sure?' she thought for a moment, _was she ready?_ 'Yes Jonah, I, I think I am.' He smiled and kissed her gently whispering 'we can go slowly, if you want to stop, just say, okay?' she loved how thoughtful he was, how much he truly cared. She nodded and smiled. He moved into her and was happy to hear the moans that escaped her lips. She continued to moan throughout their love making, he moaned in sync. Neither requested to stop at any point, they happily continued, keeping it slow and true to what they both felt. In all truth, the both of them had never felt as they did at this very point. They climaxed and they both resumed in their positions in each others arms, side by side. Cesca's head rested above Jonah's heart, she listened as it beated at increasing speeds. She smiled and looked up at him, her very own prince charming. He stroked her hair 'was that okay?' he asked. She was speechless 'that was err, umm, that was perfect.' She stuttered. 'Good.' He said, holding her tighter.

Everything from this point onwards took on a whole other meaning, what they felt about one another was confirmed and appreciated and their feelings were identical. They were both happy and most importantly, falling deep in love.


End file.
